2016 the year I Kicked Fear in the ...

As I look back on 2016, I saw myself take on things that I’d previously spent years sweeping under the rug!  But after passing out at the convenience store and ending up in ICU; I finally had to deal with the fact that the “fibroids” were back and with a vengeance!  AND they came with a little friend; that’s right they told me they found a black spot that was more than likely cancer but they wouldn’t and couldn’t know for sure until they extracted my uterus!  As luck, would have it, the doctors in Georgia decided that my blood count was too low for surgery (ok so they may have had to give me 11 1/2 bags of blood the day before) and this is where my fight to live my life without the fear of being accepted by others begin.

Here's the thing when you’re facing death you kinda don’t give a flip about what people think of the choices you’re making in life anymore. So, I quit what looked like it was going to be a great job and relied on money solely from blogging and tweeting as an influencer to live off, during my cross-country adventure. Yep, I’d decided to leave Atlanta and drive across the country stopping to visit everyone I love while doing the things I enjoy doing one last time. Not to mention a few new adventures.

My son and parents thought that I was crazy! I mean after all for the last six years or more I hadn’t been able to see very well when driving at night and would have panic attacks too. O-yeah did I mention, I’ve never driven more than 200 miles alone the whole time that I’ve been driving. Well, I hadn’t! But guess what I did just fine (read all about it)!

Sometimes the best thing you can do to push yourself closer to where you want to be in life is stop listening to those who love and want to protect you! To just take a blind leap of faith! Don’t worry about what people will say or if they will accept the decisions that you make. Just do it! One of two things will happen, either they will be there to help celebrate your success or not and if they’re not there they weren’t really in your corner anyway.

2016 was my year to finally live my life without the fear of acceptance, to live my life fiercely and fearlessly. To learn to make people accept me flaws and all! And that is exactly what happened.

As you set about picking a “theme” for your resolutions or goals for 2017, I caution you to choose it wisely because words are more than words! The things that we speak over our lives often become reality!  Because had anyone told me that I was going to have the adventures that I did last year when I said, I was going to be fearless in 2016, I would have chosen a different “theme”!

What am I rolling with for 2017 not sure yet gonna take my time and decide really really carefully.
Happy New Year!
   

Fiercely Fighting To Be Fearless

You know what they say about never being able to go home again? Welp, it's true...ok well not entirely but to some degree it is...I mean think about it. Think about how much you've changed since you set out to explore the world and try new things. And then think about how some in your inner circle have not! And while this isn't necessarily a bad thing it is a thing!

Because while you are proud of the changes that you've made both in your lifestyle and character, your loved ones don't exactly feel the same way. While they may be  proud of the financial and or professional gains they are more than just a tad bit confused, intimidated and fearful by other changes that they see in you!    And while you'll find this disheartening it's not a bad thing or the end of the world. OR at least it shouldn't be! But let met tell you that fear changes people.

Believe you me, fear can make the sweetest person you know turn into #@$%^& as they try to protect their loved one and the world as they know it from what they don't understand or are fearful of. Since I've been back I've been warned by everyone that the city has changed and that I might not want to go here because someone was shot around that area last week. Or are you sure you want to take that Uber to the city? I heard on the news a few months ago that an Uber driver attacked their passenger.

While we love our family we must be careful to not allow them to project their fears of the unknown or what they don’t understand on us! Some of the people that you are closest to are the same people who keep you trapped in the fearful zone when you're working so hard to be fearless. 

Family + Fun + Finding My Footing in 30 Days

Wow, I can't believe it!

I've been home for exactly a month now....like dang y'all where did the time go? I know I spent a week or two catching up with all of my cousins on my mom's side ....yep that Server-Relf set (truth be told it's the Server-Relf/Henson -Potts crew...yep both sides of my mom's family tree). Check out the pic's of me and a different group of cousins, than you have seen before. I know you're wondering how many cousins does she have?!  IDK!  Just trust me when I say that there are a LOT! As my Big Momma used to say, "Girl as long as you got family...you got all you need!"  And the older I get the truer that statement seems to be.

Y'all being back in the Bay with family and seeing the water every day sure has given me the boost my body and soul were craving! Does being around your family give you a spiritual lift too?

Parents + Cousins*Nephew=Family

Oh yeah and by now I'm sure you know that my BELOVED  Golden State Warriors lost the NBA Finals and after traveling all this way back to the Bay... I've still not been able to go to a championship parade! But you best believe will be chasing the title again next year!

Went to one of my cousin's 50th birthday party.  Don't I look pretty in my pink dress?

Partying with the Family

But I've been doing more than re-connecting with family....I've taken a few meetings out at Google,,,a few at Cal....Cal Berkeley. got set up to review movies on the west coast with Warners . reached out to the city of El Cerrito and Richmond to talk tech and interviews,,,interviews....I'll let you  where I land....

In the meantime and in-between time I went to Bezerkely with my GodPrincesses to soak up some culture and to my surprise the city is being GENTRIFIED! So I snapped a few pic's of the zaney things that were left. Take a look.

GodPrincesses + Bezerkeley= Fun Fun Fun

I hope you enjoy the collage of pic's of my favorite hidden gem spaces in my hometown Richmond, Ca. aka Rich City and that it truly is! Rich in culture....everything that makes me the divalicious blerd that I am!

Views from Point Richmond & The Shore

Not So Fearless After All

I'm just an average girl with an average life


I work in Social Tech, hey hell,I pay the price


But why do I always feel like......Somebody's watchin MEEE!





Naw.....I'm still FEARLESS & FABULOUS!!

Enjoy the 4th y'all!

Friends, Family, Faith & Fearlessness

Fearless

  adjective

   1. without fear; bold or brave

After getting stuck up on a hill in the middle of the night WITH NO PHONE SERVICE just outside of El Paso, Texas during a thunderstorm/flash flood and having a"God, you better do something!" moment with the Lord. The Doggy Diva Diamond and I made it to Pheonix, talking to various cousins along the way(when there was service). Chatting with"the cousins" not only provided me with companionship but allowed me an audience to discuss what it means to be fearless and live life fearlessly. Two of my older cousins that are part of the 50 & fabulous club felt that simple things like moving across country, to a new city and starting a new career over the age of 40 was a fearless and slightly bad ass thing to do! While another set of cousins in the 40 can't last forever club was like "Girl, what took you so long!...You're such a slacker" frame of mind. And when specifically asked what type of life changes would they think it took to add someone to the "living life fearlessly" club, they specifically stated things like living and working abroad, starting their own business, trying things that most black people wouldn't (or what the media tells us aren't stereotypical black things) like learning to fly a plane, zip-lining and jumping out of a plane (apparently some of my cousins are secretly bad ass too)!  So, now I'm getting a glimpse of what other people see in me and why some of them would think that I'm fearless! I mean, after all, I did move across country, to a new city, no job, and very little family. And while I have yet to learn to fly a plane but I have jumped from a plane, zip-lined while on vacation and well I did have my own start-up (remember Goszip Mall, y'all?) Wow! Looking at things from a new perspective I'm looking at the palm trees that are coming up on my left and pop in Pac's, "California love" and I'm feeling a little bad ass and thinking yep I'm experiencing a bit of fearlessness and you know what? I think I like it! 

Chatting with "the cousins" helped keep me focused, entertained and gave me a new perspective on what "living life fearlessly" really is! And you know what else happened on the ride back to Cali? I conquered my fear of driving across country by myself! I only had 2 panic attacks on the ride home and hey don't judge me,you never know what you'll do when stuck in a flash flood & thunderstorm in the middle of texas, at night! 

Hope you enjoy the pic's and yessssssssssss ,I took a meeting at BuzzFeed before reaching my next set of cousins! More about that later.

Anyhoo I'm gonna shut it down for a bit I'm gonna visit with my lil cousin and talk Warrior's basketball y'all! 

Conquered My Fears

  

Connecting With Family & Becoming Fearless

Fearless

  adjective

   1. without fear; bold or brave

As I was leaving NOLA, headed towards Houston where I intended to stop and see my cousin whom, I've not seen since I became a mother, let alone a Bella! 

I got a call from my ex who just may also be my next! Ok, ok so that's probably not gonna happen but it's a nice idea to flirt with.

Anyhoo he called to chat while I drove and he too told me he liked my kick-ass and fearless spirit!  

Now y'all I'm like what are people seeing in me that I'm missing! Like, for real, though.  Cuz, when I think about the moves that I've made lately, I just see a Lil Black girl from Richmond California trying to survive and make lemonade out of the lemons that life has thrown at her and rise to the top! I mean where I'm from you're either constantly striving to be the BEST or........OMG, I don't even want to think about it.....

So back to the Ex and him enlightening me on what in the heck I've done to make people think that I'm fearless.

So apparently chucking it all and moving across the country to chase your dream is an act of fearlessness and wait doing simple things like booking a room on Airbnb and driving for Uber they count too!

So basically living life outside of the stereotype is an act of fearlessness! Because when I finally got to Houston and met up with my cousin and told her that I'd be staying at an Airbnb while in town...she was like my aren't you brave! We shared experiences that happened in our lives since we last saw each other in person...it was great!

There's nothing like being with family...for me connecting and sharing ideas,dreams and stories of adventures from the past with those who have the same bloodline is powerful! And I'm not just talking about my foolishness either....I mean stories of brave, bold and plain ole badassness by my parents, grandparents, great-grandparents great aunts and uncles too!

As fate would have it we spent so much time catching up that before I knew it the sun was up and it was time to go!

Life can be funny...especially when memory meets reality...when I was a little girl my cousin came to visit and I remember her as being super duper tall. I used to tell people I wanted to be tall like my cousins on my dad's side... well...it worked because guess what we're the same height!

Yep, she's 5'8 too! LOL,I guess I was really short when I was little because she seemed a lot taller back then! In my mind, she was like 6ft. tall. See for yourself....

Queue the music...On the road again I just can't wait to get on the road again.... ok ok that's a stretch cuz y'all know that I am not a fan of driving for more than 45 mins...lol

On the road again...seeing things I may never see again...I can't wait to get on the road again...

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Living Fearlessly With Family

When we last chatted, I'd left  you to ponder what the word "Fearless" means to you and then I gave you the dictionary's definition of the word (see below).

Fearless

  adjective

   1. without fear; bold or brave

After sliding through Slidell I was able to get my brother from another on the phone again and asked him to explain why he thought that I was fearless. His response because you never let ANYTHING stop you! I was like WOW is that what people think? I mean ...WOW...as I'm about to pull up to my glamson's house with a police escort (Y'all ain't ready for that story yet)! I'm thinking and feeling like my move back to the Bay is a retreat....like I've lost the battle and I'm turning tail and running home to Daddyo! I mean sure I was able to launch Goszip Mall and I held the Sassie's Festival back in 2013 and my Cupcakes & Code events turn out cool all the time. AND I did move across country just me and the Doggy Diva Diamond buuuut I'm not really sure if that makes me fearless or not.

Welp the Boys in Blue, got me to the GlamSon's house, but before I go, "What makes a person fearless to you" ? Leave me a note in the comments.

Police escort to GlamSon's house

Before getting back on the road I'm going to share a collage of some of the time I spent with my Glambabies. O, the things the glamkids and I got into while spending 5 amazing days in NOLA(you really are different there)! 

We attended one of  A3's first ever little league games; he was totally awesome! Not afraid to hit the ball at all and you should have seen him run those bases like a vet! He was the only one that the coach didn't have to tell what to do and when.

 Now that glamdaughter of mine.....she's the epitome of the word FEARLESS and YES her superpowers are in her tiara. Just like her Bella she wears one everyday (YES, she has several different ones. Bella will have to step up her tiara game).  Look at the pictures of her in the collage you will see her sitting in the fire truck...well she asked the fire chief if she could use their bathroom and when we came out, she ran straight to the truck and climbed up and asked for a picture. Mi Chanta had to join her because well Bella wanted her to be safe anyhoo that lil girl knows no fear!

So while I don't believe that I, myself am fearless those Glambabies of mine definitely are!


Ahh well it's time to head west....sigh...bye NOLA 

Bye NOLA